Bernard's missing testicles and the 2 mile train

Before I can begin with today’s order of events, I must introduce our neighbor from last night, we’ll call him Bernard. Phil and I are sitting at our site, Phil’s reading a book, and I’m uploading pictures for the blog. All of a sudden we hear a voice, “Ya hear those trains?” Mind you, it’s almost pitch black, the only light we have is from our miniature fire, and our lantern which happens to be burning out.

Upon a closer look, we notice Bernard approaching, bare-chested with Jeans and suspenders. However, the hair on his body was enough to fool anyone into thinking he was wearing a sweater. So, we engage in a (hopefully) short conversation with him. He talks about the trains, and how some of them are 2 miles long. When Phil mentions the one we saw earlier, and how I had said, “That train’s got to be at least a mile long”, Bernard was offended and quickly corrected us… “not 1 mile, 2 miles.”

Bernard continues talking about how he and his wife are traveling, and they were trying to get to see their friend Adelia, but they didn’t make it in time and she was taken by cancer. Well, that was sad, but then he continues to tell us about how he has had all sorts of cancer as well. Breast, liver, “Hell, I even lost both my testicles to cancer.” Well, I hate to sound unsympathetic, ‘cause I do feel bad for the guy, losing both testicles must be rough, but really….. Is this something I need to know upon our first meeting? Generally I think you need to know somebody for at least 20 minutes or have bought them dinner before one can reference their testicles. Bernard fufilled neither of these requirements. So, after a longer-than-we’d-like conversation, he said goodnight and went back next door to his site.

As we woke up this morning, we looked forward to a day full of driving, we were off to Amarillo, Texas. Before leaving, we updated the blog a bit, and while doing so, talked to Alicia. She recommended a little place called Monte Carlo’s Steakhouse in Albuquerque, NM. that she found on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Alicia informed us, that part of its charm was that it was attached to a liquor store and to get to the restaurant, you had to go through the liquor store. Turns out, Amarillo is 10 hrs away, and Albuquerque was 5 hours. This was a perfect midway point for us to have dinner.

So, we broke down camp, and packed up the car, and off we went. Christine drove the first 5 hours to Albuquerque. As we entered NM, the sign welcomed us to “The Land of Enchantment”.

We pulled off an exit to get gas at a Pilot gas station. When Phil got out he was approached by a heavyset Mexican man with a very high pitched voice who asked him for money for gas. “Me and my son are headin’ to Denver, and we’re out of money and can’t get any gas. Could you help us out?” Phil replied quickly with a, “no sorry, we’re in the same boat buddy.” He quickly filled up as the man went from pump to pump, and we made our way out of the station very rapidly.

After the conversation with this man, one has to question the strategy involved with planning a trip and deciding to just kind of wing it on gas money. What was this man thinking before he left? One would posit, that if you were taking your automobile, gas money would be the first thing you would have.

A few good hours later, when we pulled into Monte Carlo’s, we thought, “Ohh crap, we’re going to get mugged.” The people were not the friendliest looking, covered with tattoos and angry faces, and then there was that guy sitting in the corner of the store drinking his Coronas. (Our minds will change about the place as we stay longer but for now… we’re a bit intimidated.)

We make our way to the back of the store, and enter the restaurant. It’s not too crowded, and there are a bunch of seats open. We are told to sit anywhere we’d like. We choose a booth in the back, and wait, and wait, and wait to be served. When our waitress finally comes over, she looks like she crawled out of a crack high. Her words were a bit slurred and she was a bit slow, but she was very pleasant.

There was no smoking or non-smoking section, and no one was smoking at the bar. However, before ordering, I went to the bathroom, where it STUNK like smoke. My first thought… hmm “Am I in high school again?” Then, once in the stall, there it was, an ash tray! Apparently you can’t smoke in the restaurant or bar area, but it’s fair game in the bathroom.

We ordered a Prime Rib and a Chili cheeseburger to split. When it came out, the burger looked as though it had pickles slathered all over the top. After a minor freak out, and asking what that was, she replied, it’s green chilies. Apparently a chili burger isn’t as we know it in NY with actual Chili, but with smashed green chilies on top. As unexpected as it was, it was a really nice addition to the burger. It added a sweet yet small spice flavor to the burger. The Prime rib was cooked to perfection with an amazing seasoning. We were both amazing happy with our meals.

As we were eating, the place began to fill up. Before we knew it, every table was full, and there was a line out the door. I overheard the waitress at the table next to us when they commented on the crowd, “Yea, ever since we got famous we’re always this busy. It’s crazy!” If Phil and I had gotten there even 10 – 15 minutes later than we did, we would have been in that line.

Just because we feel we have to get something from the attached liquor store to make this visit complete, I go up front and buy a 6-pack of Shiner Bock, which is regionally brewed in Shiner, Texas. I meet up with Phil as he’s paying the check, and we head out to the car to begin on the second half of our journey to Amarillo. And that’s where we are now, Phil’s driving and I’m sittin here typin away! :o)